“Should I stay, or should I go?” – An Indecisive Run-In with a Door

Yesterday, I walked into a door. It wasn’t a glass door that gets smeared with the grease stains of other fools passed, no; this error could not be excused on a good janitorial crews’ glass cleaning abilities. I fully recognized the door, as my hand had been attached to the handle in the process of opening it. There was initially a complete understanding that this was an act I had to follow through on, as to exit the establishment. For some reason though, I jumped the gun. I decided, why not just open the door halfway and still try to exit as if it had been completely opened. As a result, half my body made it out of the restaurant, while the other half stayed in. I believe I was faced with that age old Clash question, “Should I stay, or should I go?” Literally, I had been torn between staying and going. I remained physically split by the door, which stopped me midway through the process of leaving.

The result is a gash in the middle of my face. My face is split into two halves perfectly down the middle. Immediately following this act of supreme intelligence, I tried to play it cool. I finished exiting and began to say my goodbyes to the people I had been with, who luckily did not see my interaction with the door. That cool only lasted a couple seconds, as the blood began to stream down my face…not so cool. As I held a tissue to my face, it very quickly became dampened with the deep red evidence of my stupidity. I stood there occasionally examining the tissue, and wondering how an act like this is possible. How does an intelligent creature step into an inanimate object?

I realized I had been living in the past, daydreaming about moments before which I had lacked the courage to approach strangers in the bar whom I would of enjoyed conversing. The time had come to leave, but my body truly was not ready to leave. My spirit had felt unfulfilled from the possibilities of the night. There was opportunity to which I recognized but feared acting upon, and at the moment of impact I had been daydreaming about what could have been.

Yes, I was a jackass and am now branded with a mark of idiot certification upon my face; which will constantly force me to re-live the experience as I must continuously provide explanatory discussions with others, who are now afforded visual proof of their positioning of higher intelligence over me ( I apologize to my past English teachers for the previous sentence, as it was most definitely a run-on sentence. All I can say is, “deal with it.”). So, I will be reminded daily of this event…but I believe I can use it to my advantage. My goal is to view this moment of my past as a reminder to myself to live in the present. I shall strive to follow my intuition and not let moments pass me by, as those missed moments would provide me with frustrations to daydream over later. If I can remain in the cognitive present, I shall remain capable of being smarter than the inanimate objects around me. I shall also take this moment to apologize to the door, which was a mere victim in this interaction.

I hope that you can take this posting as a warning…running into doors hurts. Also, make sure to watch out for that which stands immediately in front of you…and not that which remains in the in-alterable past. The past can’t be changed. I should have taken advantage of the present and not allowed opportunity to pass me by, but once it had there was no point in dwelling over the failure.

I thank you again for reading my rants, and wish you happy holidays. I may write more before Xmas, but I provide no guarantees.

Sincerely,

-Brad